What happens when you ask someone for their opinion when they’re in-front of someone else?
Are they thinking about answering the question, or are they thinking about how they should be answering that question in the eyes of the other person?
Have you ever noticed that when someone is in the same room as their manager that they change the words they use? Do their mannerisms change? Have you ever spotted someone’s opinions completely changing too?
If a Discovery meeting is intended to discover the truth… to understand whether we can solve problems for the person we’re meeting… we need open dialogue and the other person needs the freedom and comfort to be themselves. We don’t want them playing a role of someone that they think their manager wants to see.
People make decisions for their own reasons. We are all emotional beasts and we are usually either moving away from something painful, or moving towards something gainful. Have you ever done anything that makes your life easier, even though it maybe has a higher cost for your business? Would you feel comfortable being open about that in the same room as your manager, or your manager’s manager?
Can you think of an example of when someone has changed simply because of the other people in the room?
When we meet in groups, the dynamics can shift and leave us with a misguided interpretation of reality. We might even come away hearing “the party line” which qualifies an opportunity out… when one of the people around the table might be desperate for what we could offer.
Meeting people individually takes more commitment from us: in time. However, sometimes being successful isn’t a quick and easy path.
If you could understand that one individual’s problems and motivations to work with you, could you coach them on how they could champion your business and solve his/her problems?
When you’re in a group and you ask for feedback on the presentation you’ve made, who do you go to first? If you go to the most senior person, and they say they don’t like it, what hope do you have that others around the table have the confidence to speak out against that view?
Changing gear a little, but still on the same track, when someone recommends a service or product to you what runs through your mind? Do you grade the recommendation based on your opinion of the person?
If your best friend recommended something, I’d expect that would carry greater weight than someone you’d only just met?
What if someone you actively didn’t trust, or who you thought made bad decisions made a recommendation to you? I’d suggest that might actually serve to be more negative than if no recommendation had been made.
So, when you ask someone to refer you in to their manager or colleague, are you clear on how that referral will be received or respected? Being directed to the right person, and getting tips on what their interests are is helpful but I’m cautious about introductions until I understand the relationship clearly. I like to ask “what happened last time you recommended something to that individual?”
So I prefer to do my discovery meetings one-to-one, to present to people individually and to only present in a group when I know what everyone is going to say, and to handle my own route of introduction unless I’ve been unable to get in touch directly.
